I'm Committed...Except That I'm Not

I graduated with a degree in Music Education from the University of Tennessee in 2001. It took me six years to accumulate the classes I needed, especially given that I was undeclared my freshman year. I spent five of those years in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band, played in the pep band for numerous basketball games, and attended lots of other sporting events on campus. I enjoy college sports and love it when my teams do well. I think they're a great way to provide some solidarity among the student body, they give a lot of athletes the financial aid to attend college that they wouldn't otherwise have, and they showcase the university to others around the nation. (Many of my fellow music students were/are dismissive of the fanaticism of some fans, but I say those people have no reason to complain that football fans don't show up to band concerts.)
With that in mind, I have a few things that I would like to say to some prominent people at my alma mater:
Basketball Coach Bruce Pearl: I love the enthusiasm you have brought to our men's basketball team. I'm glad you're in the Top 10 right now, and I was excited to watch you beat then-No. 1 Kansas on Sunday. I appreciate that you pulled it off even with three guys bench because of a drug-related arrest. It says a lot about what you're teaching your players that you booted a star senior with such an important game coming up. I hope your players learn from this example and don't create any more embarrassing situations. Those of us who lived in Knoxville for several years and never once had a run-in with the police are getting tired of it. Knoxville is actually a nice town, but you'd never know it from the arrest reports that keep showing up on ESPN.

Athletic Director Mike Hamilton: Good job with the Pearl hire. I thought you had another slam-dunk with Kiffin, but why oh why didn't you require a bigger buyout than $800,000 for someone making as much as you paid him? He managed to embarrass himself, the football team, and the school and depart right before signing day, thus ruining several commitments of a then-top-10 recruiting class and giving his successor virtually no time to recover. That is worth a whole lot more than the six-figures you're getting for losing him. Bad form.

Former Football Coach Lane Kiffin: I was shocked when I realized that as much as I despise the antics of Steve Spurrier, you basically did the same things. You insulted other schools, their coaches, their fans, their players, their recruits, you ticked off the NCAA, acted like a real punk. In return, you got great recruits and energized the fans and the team. I wanted to buy into it. Not many coaches can lose to Florida and walk out with a moral victory. Hey, get a better kicker and Alabama doesn't get to play Texas for the championship. I was willing to overlook the complete meltdowns against Ole Miss and Virginia Tech. (I had a South Carolina fan complain to me about your gas station comment. My first thought was, "and how many Pro-Bowl players does South Carolina have in the NFL? Hmmm?" But I digress.) For all that great recruiting, all that energy, all that attention, you bolted from an enthusiastic fan base, a top-10 incoming class, a real shot at the SEC Championship game next year, the biggest stadium in the best conference in the country, a great coaching staff, and headed off to a school that is probably about to get sacked with probation the next two or three years? (Why else would Pete Carroll head off to one of the worst teams in the NFL this close to signing day?) You haven't dissed Tennessee. You dissed the entire Southeastern Conference. For all that talk about enthusiasm and commitment, you bolted at the last minute and left your entire team in the lurch. "Sorry guys, greener pastures! No hard feelingsmmmmkaythanksbye." I hate to admit it, but all those mean things people said about you turned out to be true.

Tennessee Fans: I know you're angry. I am too. But please...setting mattresses on fire ain't making the guy come back. Show some dignity and respect for our school by showing a little class. Ask yourself, what would Peyton do? By the way, since my Titans are out of the playoffs despite a stellar season by RB Chris Johnson....go Colts.

Movie Review: "It Might Get Loud"

Jack White hammers together a contraption on the porch of an old farmhouse in Franklin, Tennessee. It's a wooden board to which he has attached a couple of nails, an empty Coke bottle, and a string that is tied to the nails. He inserts an electric guitar pickup coil under the string, turns on the attached amplifier, plucks the string, which sounds a loud TWANG and White slides a shotglass up and down the string, playing a blues riff. "Who says you need a guitar?"
So begins It Might Get Loud, a 2008 documentary by Davis Guggenheim (An Inconvenient Truth). This project assembles three of the most innovative guitarists in rock history: White (The White Stripes, The Raconteurs), The Edge (U2), and Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin). Each guitarist talks about how he got his first guitar, how his band(s) started, and his philosophical approach to writing and playing music. All three gather together on a soundstage to talk about the guitar and jam for a bit.
One reason why this project is interesting, besides the collective amount of talent on display, is that all three men come from different backgrounds and have radically different approaches to playing the guitar. Page grew up in London, played in a skiffle band (an early TV clip shows him as a teenager, introducing himself as "James Page"), got involved in the London studio scene where he recorded on tracks such as the Bond theme "Goldfinger," and eventually joined the Yardbirds before starting Led Zeppelin, where his use of distorted, overdriven guitars and bluesy riffs revolutionized hard rock music. The Edge grew up in Dublin, joined his U2 bandmates while they were in school together, and was influenced by the constant prospect of IRA violence. He uses a virtual army of different pedals, switches, speakers, and various other equipment to create his signature ringing, echo-reverb sound. White hails from south Detroit, where it was extremely "uncool" to play an instrument in the early 80's , lives to hear and play the blues, and shuns technology as much as possible, opting for cheap, old instruments and forcing himself to self-imposed limitations which he believes allows his creativity to flourish.
Despite White's early prediction that the meeting might devolve into a fistfight, the three get along well and probe each other for information and insight. A genuine chemistry has developed by the time they sit down and play through an impromptu version of The Band's "The Weight." Intercut with the meeting are scenes of White experimenting with instruments and equipment at his house, teaching a young protege, Edge giving a tour of the Dublin school where he, Bono, Adam Clayton, and Larry Mullen first began rehearsing, and Page visiting Headley Grange, the huge old house where Led Zeppelin recorded classics tracks such as the monumental "When the Levee Breaks."
If you are a fan of classic or modern rock, or you love to play/listen to the guitar, I highly recommend this film. Now that it is available on home video, I also highly recommend that you watch the deleted scenes, which offer additional entertaining moments like Page showing the guys how he came up with the riff for "Kashmir," White showing the others how to play "Seven Nation Army," and Edge checking his equipment by playing "Pride." However, if you own a guitar, keep it close by. You'll want to start practicing after you're done watching.

Movie Review: "Avatar"

James Cameron has directed some of the biggest films in history. He is responsible for The Terminator and its first (and best) sequel, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Aliens, The Abyss, True Lies, and he personally won 3 of the 11 Oscars awarded to Titanic. He also produced an excellent IMAX 3-D documentary Ghosts of the Abyss about exploration of the Titanic wreckage that I thought was superior to his big-budget fictionalization about the doomed ocean liner. Cameron has been absent from the screen for several years now while mounting his biggest spectacle yet, Avatar. Cameron is credited as writer and director, and as with his other productions he is deeply involved with virtually every aspect of production. This is his third feature film in a row that has supposedly set a record for its budget (reportedly between $200 and $300 million dollars) and as with most of his other films, there is a lot of tech up there on the screen. I read many reviews (probably too many) of the film before seeing it, with opinions ranging from "this is the most amazing film EVER" to the derisive description "Dancing With Smurfs." As a result, I expected to be both wowed and underwhelmed. And sure enough, that's what happened.
The story takes place on a distant moon, Pandora, which contains a valuable mineral called "unobtanium." (Subtlety is not one of Cameron's strengths as a storyteller.) A mining company is desperate to get to the biggest underground deposit, located under a massive tree that is the home of a tribe of Na'vi, Pandora's 10-foot tall blue-skinned humanoids. Jake Sully, the story's hero, is a former US Marine whose battle injuries have left him in a wheelchair. Despite having no training for the program, he is selected to operate his late twin brother's avatar, a genetically-modified Na'vi drone which acts as a sort of virtual-reality body in which the operator can interact with the natives in the poisonous-to-humans atmosphere. The avatars are part of a program, headed by chain-smoking scientist Sigourney Weaver, to study and understand the Na'vi though the corporation's militaristic security operations chief sees them as a way to get intel that can be used to overthrow the primitives. Through his avatar, Jake falls in love with his new-found mobility, the spectacular environment, the chief's daughter...you get the idea. Rather than gather information, he decides he wants to join the tribe.
The environment of Pandora is quite impressive: the CGI-rendered world is magnificent in its detail and execution. The bright, phosphorescent colors are a bit overwhelming after a while and the effect is what I would describe as "convincing" rather than "realistic." Pandora's lower gravity presumably is what allows for its incredibly large plants, creatures, and floating mountains, all of which do provide a suitably alien setting, especially when seen in an IMAX 3-D theater. The 3-D photography still suffers at times from the motion blur common to 3-D films, but the effect of true depth is the best I have ever seen. The glasses do become a bit annoying during the over 2 hour 40 minute running time. Some of the aerial sequences are genuinely breathtaking, and as a whole this film is the only one that rivals this summer's Star Trek for realism.
Part of the realism involves the Na'vi themselves, created through the most detailed and painstaking motion-capture yet used in a movie. The details of the characters' mouths, noses, and eyes make for very convincing characters and it is easy to believe that you are seeing a close representation of the actors who play the Na'vi. As a technical achievement, I'm not sure there is much that would improve it.
As a story, there are problems. If you have seen Dances With Wolves, you won't be surprised by a single element of the plot. For all the time, effort, and money that went into this film it is disappointing that Cameron didn't take another couple of weeks or bring in other writers to flesh out what is essentially a bad cowboys-good Indians action flick. As I wrote earlier, Cameron is not good at being subtle. We are told how vitally important it is to the "company" that unobtanium be acquired, but my reaction throughout the entire film was "so what?" It was difficult to believe that anyone would invest so many resources and risk so much destruction for this stuff. Maybe that's the point of the story, but if I'd been told the stuff could cure cancer or cause the growth of giant, delicious radishes I would have found the motivation of the villains more believable.
The villains. If a story doesn't have good villains, its success as a story is likely to be compromised. The bad guys in this movie, a gung-ho former Colonel and the corporate manager, are so one-dimensional that I was waiting for a "soon Metropolis will feel the sting of my death ray" monologue. From the moment they appear on screen, there is no doubt: these guys exist only to make bad decisions and be hated by the viewer. They want to destroy the Na'vi, because bad guys like explosions and hate kittens. When the battle tactic of "fight terror with terror" is mentioned, it is a jolt not just because it is an obvious "James Cameron commenting on modern warfare" moment but because there is no aspect of the plot up to that moment that in any way resembles terrorism. It falls into the narrative trap of "every war is Vietnam" and "modern armies bad, primitive armies good" (unless the good guys are using modern weapons they swiped from the bad guys) because the narrative is now making an important statement rather than letting the story unfold in an organic manner.
That's a shame, because despite my misgivings after seeing the film's overly-long trailer several weeks ago, I wanted to get wrapped up in the story. The effect was similar to experiencing a great roller coaster ride, only to be told at the end-by the person operating the ride-that cutting down trees to make room for roller coasters is bad. I appreciate the message, but do you have to be that heavy-handed?
The romance story is actually well-done, and the explanation for why the Na'vi are so dependant upon their environment made the almost literal "tree hugging" aspect of the story consistent and plausible within the realm of the film. In some ways that aspect of the film works better than the rather simplistic teen romance of Titanic, which also was visually spectacular but suffered from having a cartoony bad guy. It seems to me that Cameron is at his best when the antagonist is an amoral killing machine or an impersonal group of flesh-eating aliens, but at his worst when he tries to write conflict between humans (or Na'vi). While we can accept that robots from the future have no motivation other than the orders given by the programmer, humans don't work that way. It's a shame that a movie with such convincing 3-D effects should have unconvincing 1-D characters.
But don't get the wrong idea if it seems I'm being a bit harsh--Avatar is an adrenaline-packed experience with some truly exciting action sequences and amazing visuals. If you are even considering seeing it, GO. Despite its shortcomings, it is a landmark film, a testament to what a whole lot of time, money, and technology can do to create a world that previously only existed in the imagination. Watching this on even a good television in your living room would be like watching a video of the aforementioned roller coaster: it may technically look the same, but it won't match the experience of being there.

Holiday Thoughts

*This has been something of a frustrating period for me. I'm glad to have a couple of weeks to get away from work (paid vacation!) and visit family and friends, but I also spent nearly two whole days of my hard-earned leave sitting in the Philadelphia airport waiting for the snow to stop. This caused me to miss lunch with some friends in Atlanta, as well as attending an NFL game with my family. Weather is one of those things you can't control, but as Calvin said, "I'm still going to gripe about it."

*I don't really buy the whole "war on Christmas" that a lot of people complain about. I don't think that there is really a major cultural movement to stop people from celebrating Christmas. The holiday is too popular, too ingrained in the culture, and too much money is involved for it to be swept under the rug. However, there is a war on many of the things that Christmas represents: goodwill to those with whom we disagree, the recognition of our common failings in the light of better ideals, the importance of people over things. These have been under assault for a long time.

*Every year, there is an effort by someone to get some sort of holiday symbol removed from public property. They like to invoke the First Amendment, claiming that a nativity scene in front of a building is "government endorsement of a religion." Well, government should be a reflection of its people and if the majority think that it isn't an imposition, that should settle it. The "establishment clause" means that the government can't officially sponsor, or be sponsored by, a church. It does not mean that members of the government can't express their solidarity with others of similar beliefs. When people want trees and mangers taken away, it says more about their selfishness and insecurity than it does about the people celebrating a time-honored tradition.

*Yes, most Christians know Jesus wasn't born in December. We know that Yule was a pagan celebration of the winter solstice. Stop trying to take our joy from us by pointing it out in a snarky, holier-than-thou manner. It just makes you look like a jerk. People who believe Christmas is important are the same type of people who founded the nation that allows you to live your life of non-belief quite comfortably, so stop complaining about how the culture of freedom that you enjoy inconveniences you because you're tired of looking at manger scenes.

*Some people oppose massive legislative bills because they are rushed through without time to be properly evaluated, and then they vote for the bill anyway because they got a deal too good to pass up. Some others plan to vote for it, but will hold out until they manage to extort as much as possible from the taxpayers. Neither speaks well for a person's character. So why do we keep electing them?

*The trick with taking vacation in the hopes of seeing people is that everyone is on vacation, so they all have plans and commitments. Thus, it is difficult to actually get together with the people you wanted to see. Like I said...frustrating.

*I did discover that there is a Chick-Fil-A in the Philadelphia airport. Yep....closed on Sunday.

*My deepest gratitude to the USO, which provides an area in many airports for traveling members of the armed services to relax, have free food and beverages, check email, sleep, etc. during layovers, especially when flights are delayed. It makes a difficult trip much easier. Thanks.

Thanksgiving Across the Border

Thanksgiving weekend is the single biggest travel weekend of the year in the United States. Because of this, air travel is more expensive and good seats are harder to find. Because of this, I did not travel back home to Tennessee for Thanksgiving this year, nor did I visit friends and family in Georgia. (For the first time in four years, I also did not play in the pit orchestra for Columbus (GA) Ballet's production of The Nutcracker.) So instead, I took a road trip.
Jeff, a friend of mine who served with me in the bands at Ft. Benning and Ft. McPherson, told me a while back that he had the urge to go visit Montreal, the largest city in the Canadian Francophone province of Quebec. So once I decided that flying was out of the question and that it's less than a four-hour drive from Watertown, NY to Montreal, we decided to use the four-day weekend to hang out in Canada.
Thursday afternoon I crossed the border about twenty-six miles from where I live and work. I arrived at the airport just in time to pick up Jeff after he retrieved his baggage, and we headed for the Best Western Europa in downtown Montreal. After checking in and unloading, we bundled up for a walk around the area. The hotel had an ideal location, near several shops and restaurants and close to the city's Metro subway system. (We were also just down the street from Centre Bell, the arena that is home to the fabled Montreal Canadiens hockey team, but attending a game was not on the agenda this weekend. Which is fine, because we probably couldn't have gotten tickets.) We ate at a food court in an underground mall, and I was surprised by the way that many people there casually and randomly switch between speaking English and French. Montreal is what I'd call "comfortably bilingual," and many people there seem comfortable using either language. That was fine for me, as I haven't attempted to speak French regularly since I took 200-level French my freshman year in college. Jeff's French is better than mine, probably because he used to be stationed in Europe. No doubt I'd have a harder time in other Quebec cities where the population is more adamant about speaking only French. Several locals also seemed to think Jeff was from France because of his accent, which was noticeably different from the rather bizarre accent that the Quebecois have. (Actually Jeff's family is from Thailand.) We wrapped up the evening at a local pub, Les 3 Brasseurs, where Jeff bought one of their custom glasses to add to his collection.
Friday was mostly spent shopping (Jeff says it's easier to find things in his diminutive size in Canada than in the US), browsing bookstores, and trying to avoid the constant rain. I suggested going to Le Tour Montreal, the world's tallest inclined tower. It is located next to Stade Olympique (Olympic Stadium), built for the 1976 Summer Olympics and former home to the Montreal Expos baseball team (now the Washington Nationals). This made for our first trip on Montreal's excellent Metro system, the smoothest subway I've ever ridden. Upon exiting the train, we saw a partitioned area that looked like a ticket line for the tower. Instead, it was a ticket line for people getting the H1N1 Flu Vaccine, and once we realized that we were about to get shots, it took quite a bit of us repeating "pas de vaccine!" to convince the workers that we were there as tourists, not patients. We finally made our way out of the station, which is actually located under the stadium, and walked all the way around to the tower. We decided to go back the next day, as we were told the weather was causing near zero visibility. We took the train to Vieux Montreal, the old part of the city with brick streets and old stone buildings. After exploring a fascinating shop with lots of Renaissance-themed items, we ate at a very upscale restaurant with excellent salmon and hot fresh bread. To sample the city's nightlife, we chose a club within reasonable walking distance from the hotel and stood in line (in the rain, with umbrellas) for quite a while before we got in. It reminded me of why I don't go clubbing much--too loud, too crowded, and I have more skill with ballroom dancing than club dancing--but it did give me a chance to confirm that there are a lot of good-looking women in Montreal.
Saturday began with a trip to Chinatown and a meal at one of the local Chinese restaurants, which was excellent, though I found myself amused by the prospect of ordering in French at a Chinese establishment. From there we walked to the pier area and got a lot of pictures--the sun was out and much more pleasant than Friday's unending rain! We returned to the tower, finally getting to ride the inclined elevator to the top and enjoy the spectacular near-360-degree view of the city and of mountains and hills in the distance. (One can also get a dizzying view of the formerly-sort-of-retractable-roof of the stadium, suspended by cables connected to the tower.) After this, we used our comprehensive-package tickets to the adjacent Biodome, an indoor nature museum built in the fomer Olympic Velodrome. The Biodome contains a fascinating array of monkeys, fish, trees, and birds (one of whom used me as a "target," if you will, to Jeff's great amusement) and is worth a trip if you're in the area. Just don't wear any expensive clothing. Trust me.
Saturday night, we went to a production at the city's most notable church, the Basilique Notre- Dame de Montreal. It was an audio-visual presentation of the history of the founding of Montreal and the building of the church. (Notre Dame carries the honorific of Basilica because it is not a cathedral; it does not have the correct shape for one.) After the presentation, we took some time to admire the architectural magnificence of the Basilica and the detail that can be found all over the building. Dinner was at St. Hubert, a chicken-oriented restaurant that had outstanding chicken pot pie and HD screens showing the hockey game taking place a block from the hotel. On the way back to the hotel, we stopped at the Montreal Jazz Festival building, home to the Festival and a relaxing place to sit at the bar and relax after a long day.
Sunday, I drove Jeff back to the airport for his flight to Georgia, and I drove back after stopping at McDonald's to order some breakfast (in French, of course). This was my first extended trip to Canada, and with the relatively short travel distance I'll have to go back to Montreal soon and enjoy more of what the North American continent's most Continental city has to offer.

It's All About the M&M's

We have all heard stories of the ridiculous excesses enjoyed by wealthy celebrities. (In fact, my sister works in the entertainment industry and has some amusing ones, but you'll have to ask her about them; I won't repeat them here.) One of the most famous "stupid famous tricks" is probably the legendary bowl of M&M's that were required by the Dutch masters of stadium rock, Van Halen. The group didn't just want M&M's; they actually had a contract that mandated that there be no brown M&M's in the bowl. Given that the brown ones were for years the most prevalent color in a bag of M&M's, that's a pretty hefty demand and a whole lot of candy-sifting for some backstage flunky. However, the requirement actually did have a reason. I'll link to the factually-verified article available at Snopes.com. [Incidentally, that's a good website for most any rumor you hear or read about. Verify before you forward that amazing email!]

Essentially, the band had very specific technical requirements for their stage and sound equipment, particularly with very heavy speakers and lighting rigs. It was a matter of safety for the band and the audience that those requirements be met by the host venue. The M&M clause was inserted into the contract in a very innocuous manner in a very inconspicuous place, meaning that a careful reading of the contract was necessary to see it. If the band showed up and saw brown M&M's, they immediately knew their technical requirements had not been read and that there was likely something wrong with the venue. What initially seems like a typical case of immature-because-we-can prima donna star behavior actually served a very real and serious purpose.

I mention this because when we have lawmakers who want to pass legislation that is over 2,000 pages long with only a matter of days to review the specifics, and as such bills affect your health care, it might be worth knowing whether or not someone wants brown M&M's.

Image taken from the M&M webpage.

Album Review: The Lost Boys, "Rogues In A Nation"--Renaissance Rock!

Way back in 2006 when I was stationed at Ft. Benning, I went with some friends to the Georgia Renaissance Festival and it was there that I discovered one of the most entertaining and creative bands I've ever heard: The Lost Boys. They present themselves as "the original rock band from 1599," and typically wear their characteristic performing outfits of teal kilts. (At least once per show they mock the men in the audience as a bunch of "lads in pants.") Their music is a mixture of original material, Shakespeare texts set to original tunes, renditions of Renaissance-era songs, modernized versions of Renaissance songs, and parodies of popular music with Renaissance-type lyrics. The group has undergone a few personnel changes over the years but consistently relies on the leadership of guitarist/fiddler/vocalist Matthew Trautwein.

In one of my earlier posts I reviewed another Trautwein project, the Karma Lingo release "Breath of God." Four members of Karma Lingo made up the original Lost Boys lineup that in 2001 produced their first CD, "Rogues In A Nation." Naturally, in keeping with the fanciful nature of the band, the members all play characters in addition to playing music. Trautwein plays String, so called because of his predilection for playing multiple stringed instruments. Kelley Yearout is Clarence the Destroyer, guitarist and tenor vocalist. Charles Holmes portrays Johnny Ozbourne, who sings and plays bass. The group's drummer and fourth vocalist is Michael Starr, played by Michael Guss. Along for the ride is Merlin (Perry Rintye), whose magic allows for the use of modern drums and electric guitars on certain tracks.

The opening title track is derived from a Robert Burns poem about the percieved treachery that led to the union of Scotland and England in 1707. The LB's perform it with harmonized singing against the pounding and thumping of frame drums. "The Diamond" showcases Clarence as well as the energy that can be produced with all-acoustic instrumentation. After Merlin makes an appearance, the group performs a String original, "Little Gypsy," that sound like something the Beatles would have done were they a Renaissance-fair band. String's "Maidens Sing! (with Johnny on lead)," "Wake Up Sleepy Town" and Michael's "True Love of Mine" (with outstanding vocals from Michael and Clarence) are other fine originals on this recording. Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona provides the lyric for String's "Who Is Sylvia?" This track, entirely a capella, is one of my favorites on the recording, both beautiful and mysterious. String also has a vocal and guitar setting of Shakespeare's poem "As It Fell Upon a Day." The Boys share vocal turns on an original rocker, "Lazy Susan," that takes a particular joy in the art of the near-double-entendre: "Sally is a chambermaid, we love to watch her strip....the dirty linens off the bed..." The group's vocal prowess is again showcased on "serious" tunes like the traditional "Burning of Auchindown" and the playful "I Love You." The album closes with two parodies: "Ode to an Unfetter'd Fowl" opens with a four-part harmony setting of Lynyrd Skynyrd's ubiquitous "Free Bird," and the Knack's "My Sharona" is altered to tell the events of Shakespeare's Othello in "Desdemona." (Be sure to listen for the quiet, sneaky verse at the end.)

Word has it that the group is in the process of modifying the original disc, replacing the parodies with new material to end some legal hassles. Copies of the original can still be found at CDBaby or a live performance, so get one while you can! I highly recommend this disc as an introduction to the group. Not only is the performance and production excellent, but it is a whole lot of fun. Check out the band's website for the latest news on their performances and recordings. More to follow in future blogs....